Attention! New contender for most pathetic ER visit chief complaint
25 y/o M CC:
“I inhaled some water in the shower this morning and now I’m coughing”.
Yes, it is true that you are the son of the man who used to be the Mayor but for some reason, I can’t see how that translates into us dropping everything to address your no big deal laceration of your fingertip.
No, you don’t need a plastic surgeon
No your finger is not going to fall off
No you cannot leave to “take care of something” and then come back and jump to the head of the line in triage.
Yes, you are a total douche bag. Wait, did I say that out loud?
Please don’t come to the ER for significant complaints like bilateral weakness of the legs with loss of reflexes and then refuse a CT or an MRI because your homeopath diagnosed you with “Electrical Sensitivity” and told you your “organs will fly out of your body” if you do.
We’re going to label you a complete wacko. Sorry.