Dumb People Archive

« Older Entries

They Won’t get you Narcs Either

By Dr Killpatient | Filed in Drug Addicts, Dumb People

Throwing a pathetic pseudo-seizure on the floor of the ER in front of the Nursing Station is not going to get you Dilaudid any faster than faking back pain.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

4 Comments so far. Join the Conversation

Happy New Year

By Dr Killpatient | Filed in Dumb People, Lessons and Such, Painful, Surprising Encounters

Happy new year everyone. Several musings on working overnight on New Year’s Eve.

First if you’re going to try to break up a fight between two people, try to avoid sticking your finger into one of the combatant’s mouths. Yes your finger will probably get bitten off.

Second, if you get stabbed 10 times it’s probably better to call the ambulance than to have your friend drive you in.

Third, if you’re diagnosed with the flu you can expect to have fever for 4-7 days. Tamiflu will not get rid of your fever three hours after taking it. There is no need to return to the emergency room for such things.

Fourth, always think twice about when you leave your 14-year-old off at a party with supposedly “good people”. He’s liable to end up intoxicated facedown on the roadside somewhere.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

1 Comment. Join the Conversation

Talk about Oxymorons

By Dr Killpatient | Filed in Dumb People, Lessons and Such

Or just a Moron.

Man who claims to be in the “Fitness” industry is on:

1). Anabolic Steroids
2). Yohimbine
3). Thyroxine-like hormones
4). Sugary Energy Drinks
5). Cocaine

Sorry, your actions are directly contradictory to your self-description.

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

4 Comments so far. Join the Conversation

Timing is Everything

By Dr Killpatient | Filed in Dumb People, Idiotic ER Visits

Chief complaint winner of the Day:

“Diarrhea one time 20 minutes prior to arrival”

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

6 Comments so far. Join the Conversation